it's so hard to be the last one who knows!

***** told me to call *** bcz she wanna to tell me something..

it was 3 days ago.. i remembered to day.. and i told ***** that i'll call ***

she said.. yea.. call her.. don't 4get..

i wondered why does ***** wanna me to call *** ???

but i did..

i called her...

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first, she complained that ***** and ***** (another one) annoed her yesterday so much..

and that they realy hurted her.. i felt her like no one did..

bcz i know that feelings, when the others can't feel what u feel, when they say a little words hurts u more than knives..

i tryed after she finished the story to make her smile..

i told her alot of jokes.. she laughed alot.. and so did i.. just to make her happy..

i just tried to end the call with her smile..

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then she remembered to ask me..

why u remembered me? why u called?

then i remembered, that i call her bcz ***** told me that she wanna to tell me something..

i told her..

she: "oh yea.. i think i can't!"

me: "common, what can be worse than u said :D"

she laughed again, and so do i..

just to make her smile..

she: "u will upset"

me: "never! i'll not"

then she started to speak..

she: "bla bla bla bla bla........"

me: "silent"

she: "bla bla bla bla bla......."

me: "shocked"

she: "continued her talking"

me: "continued me silence"

she, told me all the story, or the things that matter..

me, couldn't open my mouth.. just my eyes talked, with a hot t

ears..

me, to myself: "Oh my Godness.. she didn't tell me about that befora..

how could she hide!..

she lied when i asked her who does she talk to on the phone!

it's long time since she started that matter.. she didn't try to tell me before today!!!

how could she!"

she: "*****! (myname) u saddened?"

me (lying): "No, absolutely not"

she: "so why u don't talk?"

me: "i was listening to u"

she: "so, give me smile"

me: "i do.. i really do"

just to make her smile!

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yea i smiled but not joy smile.. a sad one..

i had to lie.. to talk normally, to laugh at the end of the call..

but my brain.. my heart.. my soul..

i'm all confused..

how!!!

we are best frnds!

what excuse she could tell herself to hide that from me!!

and the others!

***** and *****.. they knew, and didn't tell me!

i knew that it was some suspicious thing about her calling.. but i asked her several times..

she lied..

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i remember that i said something about that matter..

we were in ******'s home (a third one) we were sitting and talking,

then i said: "imagine (i said this word bcz it can't be true, just imagination) *** has something and she hide it from us.. what will every one of u will do?"

i dunno why i did ask this question.. but i didn't think for a while that it can be true..

how!!!!!!!!!

i can't even comment, i thought to call ***** to ask her why didn't she tell me..

the i realised that ***'s busnis and ***** has no right to tell me!!

i dunno what to say..

but what i can only say..

it's so hard to be the last one who knows!

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