I'm afraid!

I'm afraid..

yea i know that..

but people can't understandthat, sometimes

it's better to be afraid

yea it is..

to be afraid and have a good heart with no hurt

to have a good life with no pain..

is better than to be brave but have it all!

that's my opinion.. i know it maybe not right..

I know that i overdo sometimes.. i may being "covered by fright"

(someone told me that yesterday)

but i'm not that strong girl that every one can see..

No i'm not

I may just say that to keep my self.. my heart..

because if i do that..

"some people will be afraid to deal with me"

(the same person told me that, yesterday also:))

and then No one wil got close to me.. and then No one will hurt me when he gone!!

i really dunno.. but nowdays i'm not fine..

i don't feel good anymore..

i don't get better!

and when it all finish.. when i get back my old self.. when i become my lovely girl who always smile from her heart -not to satisfy people- i'm not willing to feel bad again..

i'm not willing to feel lonely again..

that's what i'm realy afraid of..

i'm afraid any one get closer to me.. then he will leave..

i'm afraid to inter someone to my life.. then he get out from it..

maybe it's not true.. maybe i'm totally wrong..

but what can i do?

i can't venture anymore :)

i think it's better 4 me..

to be alone but with good heart, than to be alone also but with broken one!

i believe now by some quote i had read before

"sometimes, it's better to be alone.. No one can hurt u that way"