Miracle...

Miracle, is what I was w8in' 4 there
as u've told me that u r not comin'
I couldn't stop my-self frm thinking
how will it be i be if U came,
though I know ur convincing obvious reasons
-which prevent U from coming-

Miracle is what prevented me
from accepting the taxis invitation,
tellin' them that I'm waitin' 4 sm1..
It's what made me searching
4 Ur face @ everyone else' faces..

Miracle is what made me standing there 4 a while
w8in' 4 Ur coming
wishing that U've only been late..

Miracle is when U show up
interrupting one of these previous scenes,
opposing all the convincing obvious reasons
-which supposed to prevent u from coming-
carry my luggage, and pick me home..

Miracle is something which never happens in reality

because we are at the No miracles' time.

So, I hang my things by my own self..
stop the 1st taxi passes..
and "Move On".

from an old papers...

Today
I talked about u..
easily, shortly, with no complications

I answered all the questions with no lie
(maybe i've escaped some details, but i told every thing)

Today
I talked about u..
easily, shortly, with no complications

as it doesn't -really- matter

Not anymore..

can't it be?

u r the one who always talk
the one who always complain
who always tell me about those stuff annoying u
who always say that u have no friends -though I'm here-
and that u r alone
who always off the mood

and when i do...

u don't listen when i do!
so, why should i talk?

and if i didn't
if i didn't tell u that i was feelin' bad
-though i know i did-
can't u just feel it?
can't u know that I'm feelin' bad without i tell u?
just from my voice?
can't u know?
-as i always do-
just for changing sake!

can't it once be about me,
that I'm the one who feelin' bad?

always, when i call u -because i don't feel good-
first i ask u about ur-self
u tell me that u r not OK
so..
i don't tell u how i am!

and today..
today, i was feelin' bad
i thought it was obviously
but as u haven't noticed i told u
but u didn't listen
u always don't listen to me when i'm talkin'

I know one day i was ur clz frnd
and I know this person has been gone
and sure u r missing me/him
but i can't do any better
that's all i can do
that's all what i really do have!

I'm sorry i've disappointed u today
i haven't been so much caring
i haven't been your close understandable friend
but i've been NOT for along time
-in case u haven't noticed-
and sure i am not now

sorry again..
i know i made u feel worse
but i was already feelin' bad..

can't it once be about me?
just 4 CHANGING sake!

The dreaming thing.

The good part of being wake up, that u r going 2 b sleep again.
and the bad part of sleepin' that u r gonna 2 have some dreams.
The worst thing about dreaming.. when u r at the middle of dream
-whatever it's really sweet one or a nightmare-

and u know it's a dream,
it's not for real..
U wanna get out of it.

u know u r sleepin'
and that's just a (good/bad) dream
U really wanna escape away from..

But u can't!
U can't wake up..

The amazin' part of having such a dream,
(which u can't get away from)
-whatever good/bad-
that when u finally wake up,

U find your-self can't remember anything!

like if it wasn't there the last seconds..

U only have the impression about it
either happiness or misery,
-in case it's good/bad dream respectively-
but -still- can't remember
anything at all!

It's like having some hollow part at ur mind
like, if there were something a minute ago,
and someone has removed it
leaving an empty space at your head.

Only traces all what u got,
traces which -may be- have been forgotten
to be removed with the whole thing.

U have only the lay out of the dream,
but never remember what it was about
or whom were there?

why u have this impression
-whatever it's good or bad-
and who has caused it!

You never know..

That's why i do hate the dreaming thing at all.

I wish i never have dreams.

Because what's the value of having something,
-whatever good or bad-
when you'll never remember
anything about -even- having it!

May be...

Alex: Does it hurt ?
Izzie: Yeah.
Alex: Where does it hurt?
Izzie: Everywhere.
Alex: Maybe it hurts for a reason.

from season 3 Episode "sometimes fantacy"

I dunno..

I'm ...

I don't know how it happened,

that I don't have anyone, but...

I don't have anyone.

Izzie from grey's anatomy season 5 episode 3 "Here Comes the Flood"

Is she?

She's smiling. Is she happy?

She looks happy. So, what does it matter?



(Betty Warren from Mona Lisa Smile movie)

a MSG has ben received.

a MSG has been received.
The sender is your friend,
-one of whom u used 2 call a close one-

asks about u..
says that she misses u..
tells u to say "Hi" to your other friends
-the ones whom used 2 be your other closed friends-

when u read the MSG u feel like crying..

Not because u really miss her,
or because u remember the old days,

when u used to see each other every day..

and u weren't in need of sending MSGs there
-although they're a good reasons to do-

but u do -feel like crying-
cause she thinks that,
because u r at the same university
with your other friends
-your both closed ones-
you see them a lot ,
and can tell them that she says "Hi"

u remember when u did the same thing..
when u asked one of your friends
- one of whom used to be a close one-
to say "Hi" for your other friends
-your both closed ones-
as u thought they see each other a lot

because they are at the same faculty!

Then u realize that..

when u r alone,
u think all the other ones are together.

Today..

Today,
when She was eating alone at their usual
-and not favorite-
restaurant

She's missed him..

She couldn't complete her fried potatos
and found no real desire in eating the pepsi's ice

Today, when She was eating alone
at their usual -and not favorite- restaurant..

She made sure that,

She loves Him.

The un-related thoughts..

- He told her that the half-blindness is more better than the full-one
- She told him that she prefers the full-blindness than being a friend of someone whom the both know she's in love with

-----------------------

- They say, the more u live, the more u see
and i say, the more u live and travel alone twice a weak the much more u see

-----------------------

- She asked him about that girl whom left him for another one else..
if he still feels any hatred towards her
- He answered her with his quiet -usual- smile with No.
she only thought how rare is her friendto be exist nowdays

-----------------------

- He told her before about two of his colleagues,
whom loved each other for five years..
and after their engagement,
He found out he stopped loving her..
but he couldn't tell her in order to not hurt her feelings
He kept it up hoping it'd change after marriage,
but it'd not..
and he didn't tell her to not hurt her feelings..
he couldn't love her again, and he couldn't stay faithful neither
so he cheated on her
and once more he couldn't tell her to not hurt her..
- The most weird part of the story 4 her,
the Girl,
she always believed, He is the love of her life.

-----------------------

- Everyone she has known in her life has told her that sentence
"I don't deserve u"
she always wondered about that!
is really the one whom does, hadn't exist yet?!
or she's the responsible of making them feel like that..
though she hate the second choice, she found her-self thinking seriously about it..
as the first one is much further to be real!

-----------------------

- He told her that he can't do it any more
he can't live with her like that
"takes and never gives"
-she asked him if she has complained?
- He answers with No, but it doesn't mean he have to wait till she does!
- She just asked him to not regret after couple of years
-as they always do!-

-----------------------

- He asked her to not hate him..
she really doesn't know why he did!
he has asked the same thing before and she has promised him to not do.
she has never hated him and she will never do..
so, why he now repeating him-self again?!
to make her confirm an old information!
if that's is true, so he really deserves her hatred!
though they both know she won't do at all..

-----------------------

- They say that " All the alive people r going to be meet again .. one day"
-she keep praying for God to prolong their lives,
till that day comes and they meet.. again