I always say that, i'll be the first who die!

why? i dunno.. but that's my feelings inside..

i'll be the first one.. in all the poeple who i know, who i care, and who i love..

i'll be the first one!

actually, it was only a wish..

i wished to be the first coz i know i can't endure the pain then..

i realy hope to be the first one..

then it becomes some strong feeling inside me..

that i'll be the first..

i was asure from that..

but recently, alot of my wishes hasn't come true..

actually, alot of my main wishes..

i wondered..

is this one also will not come true!

or it's the only one which will!!!!!!

i realy dunno..

but yesterday, something happened, made me think about this point..

what if i won't be the first!

what if i be the second.. or the third..

what if i be the last one!

i dunno.. but it's realy scary..

u know what..

i think it's a gift Not to be know ur death date :)

it's a great gift actually :)

Thanks God