From Assassins Movie..

Once upon a time,
there was this little sparrow,
who while flying south for the winter
froze solid and fell to the ground.

And then to make matters worse
the cow crapped on him,
but the manure was all warm
and it defrosted him.

So there he is,
he's warm and he's happy to be alive
and he starts to sing.
A hungry cat comes along
and he clears off the manure
and he looks at the little bird
and then he eats him.

And the moral of the story is this:
everyone who craps on you
is not necessarily your enemy,
and everyone who gets you out of crap
is not necessarily your friend,
and if you're warm and happy
wherever you are
you should just keep your big mouth shut.