it's been the longest month i have ever had!!!!!!!

I always say that, i'll be the first who die!

why? i dunno.. but that's my feelings inside..

i'll be the first one.. in all the poeple who i know, who i care, and who i love..

i'll be the first one!

actually, it was only a wish..

i wished to be the first coz i know i can't endure the pain then..

i realy hope to be the first one..

then it becomes some strong feeling inside me..

that i'll be the first..

i was asure from that..

but recently, alot of my wishes hasn't come true..

actually, alot of my main wishes..

i wondered..

is this one also will not come true!

or it's the only one which will!!!!!!

i realy dunno..

but yesterday, something happened, made me think about this point..

what if i won't be the first!

what if i be the second.. or the third..

what if i be the last one!

i dunno.. but it's realy scary..

u know what..

i think it's a gift Not to be know ur death date :)

it's a great gift actually :)

Thanks God

Sometimes we must be hurt inorder to grow..

we must to be fail inorder to know..

we must be lose in order to gain..

Simply because some lessons are best learnt through pain!

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,

Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,

And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,

He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.

Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim

Just to show that I'm thinking of him"

But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,

And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,

"Here's a telegram sir,"

"Jim died today."

And that's what we get and deserve in the end.

Around the corner a vanished friend!

Mmmmmm

I hide my tears when i say ur name..
but the pain in my heart still the same..
thouh i smile and seem carefree..
there's No one who misses u than me..
*************************************************************
I Miss U when U R farway
I think of U every night an day
even, If we can't be together
I'll Miss U,
Now and Forever!
*************************************************************
When one door of happiness closes another opens,
but we often look so long at the closed door..
that we couldn't see the one which opened for us

Sometimes, u really see those doors,
but the only problem that u don't wanna them..
U only Need the closed one!
*************************************************************

:)

Sometimes, God lockes all the door infront of ur face!

suddelnly u found urself alone!

with nobody to talk to!

with no frnd to listen!

with no shoulder to cry on!

with NOTHING!

u upset :(

and wonder.. what's the hell u did to deserve that!

u didn't hurt any body, u didn't say any bad words.. u didn't do any mistakes to deserve all that!

then u get depressed :S

u knockes all the doors, just 2 find someone listen..

but u don't find any one!

How!!!!!!!

u dunnow, but that's what happening!

then, u find out that there is some door u didn't knock!

Allah's door..

u didn't went to him!

how it comes!

u should went to him from the begining..

yea, that's right..

it's the right path..

then u went to God..

u pray.. supplicate.. beg.. cry.. and ask for the peace with urself..

and suddenly, like the first time..

every thing changes.. every thing turns to the old way..

u find all the people who u thought they went away!

u find ur friends, people who listen.. u find all what u need..

u find out.. that God has made all that..

all this bad feelings..

all that loneless..

al that..

just to knock his door..

just to know that u have NOBODY & NOTHING but Him..

when u become sure from that point..

all the closed door'll be opened.. by itsselves!

so, when u have a tough time.. don't search alot..

don't knock poeple's doors..

just go to Him..

he will cure ur soul..

just have the faith that He can do..

and u'll find that He did :)

i feel much better now :)

Today i talked to my frnd..

I knew that i was wrong :)

our friendship still the same..

i thought it changed..

i thought she changed..

i was wrong, and i'm happy coz i was wrong :)

she is the best of the best friends i have ever had..she can feel me, it's not easy by the way..

she felt me inside once, she feel me still.. she always has, and always will..

i'll not talk alot..

but i'm really happy..

i got the message..thanks God..

i know u r beside me..

that's enough..i'll be never alone..

just don't put me in this situation again :$

Thanks alot